Light's amusement park accidents
by Loves-Chihuahuas
Summary: L, Light, and Misa go to an amusement park. Some one pees their pants. Hilarity ensues. No slash, rated T for vomit and urine. R&R! Muhahahah!


**Author**: MEH!-dances like squidward-

**Reason**: AH-FINISHED-MAH-PAPAH-FO-COLLEEEGGEEE! To bad I have, like, two every week. :D

**Title**: Light's amusement park accident

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note, nor do I own a boyfriend with a tail…… -sighs-

**Important info:** Light is chained to L in this one, but let's just pretend that he know he is Kira, alright? It actually doesn't matter to this plotline, so you can ignore the kira thing, but I just love to make Kira-Light suffer! -squeals-

**Warning**!: contains a teenager wetting their pants(notice that Misa does not wear pants(nor a brain))! FREAKING FUNNY-DOODLES!—and, though my words seem odd, there is a perfectly good explanation: I grew up without cursing, and therefore cannot curse! :D –everyone stare at the weird, 5ft tall girl and shudders at her innocence-INNOCENCE! Sorry, I just ate a TANGELO!

Subtitle: Wee-wee on the rollercoaster.

Misa is evil, Light had decided, and so was L for being so easily lured into an awful outing just because Misa had mentioned cotton candy. Stupid, pink, vile, accursed, tooth-decaying, fluffy matter of doom! Where was he going with this again- and where was the author going with this!?-OH! Yes. The amusement park.

It had been a normal day at HQ, everyone working peaceably on their own thing, Matsuda picking his nose with a fork he found on the ground… Just kidding! It was actually one of the crayons he kept in his pocket (If any of my adorable readers recognize the crayon-coughs 'from L's Fingernails story' coughs- then I will send you a cookie via imagination!).

Life was good for Light, or as good as it could get when chained to a detective who told you to stop being a baby when you woke up with his green lollypop in your hair and tried to bash him over the head with a bottle of hair spray. ANYWAYS! All was good at HQ until that mistress of madness, fangirl of horror, whore of the street corner, slut of the big butt showed up-Misa.

Misa had come to HQ to do two things: one, to glomp Light like she was in heat, and two, the finally force him on a date with her. Now, even though she was dumber than the average crack-whore hooker, she did know that nothing she said to _Light_ would make him go… If she said something to the panda man he was chained to, however, that would be a whole different story.

After glomping Light in front of his father, Misa turned unexpectedly to L. "Ryuzaki-kun!" she sang, receiving a blank stare from the world's #1 detective, "Do you like… cotton candy?"

L's eyes immediately brightened, and he replied, "Why, yes. Yes I do like cotton candy. Why?"

"Well," Misa wheedled, "I wanted to go to the amusement park in the city today, and since I just opened a new ride there last week as a part of my publicity tour, I was given all-access to the food stands for one day…though, it expires today."

"Yes!?" L said rather loudly as he suddenly stood an inch away from Misa, making step a good few feet back.

"I know how much you like candy, Ryuzaki, so I thought that if you and Light were to accompany me, we would go to the amusement park today!" She announced happily(and stupidly).

!!!!!! :DDDDD!!!!!!!!!!

And that is how Light found himself at the amusement park, chained to a man who looked like he was keeping Light as some sort of pet and on the arm of the dumbest girl in all of Japan, waiting in line for a roller-coaster.

L currently held 8 cotton candies in each hand(the ones on the paper sticks), and had forced Light to hold four more, telling him solemnly, "If you don't hold my pink fluff, I will walk around the the park calling you my man-slave." Light held the cotton candy.

Light did not particularly like heights, and had never been on a roller-coaster before, but he thought that is he could handle be chained to a border-line pervert 24-7, he could handle this.

Their group of 3 finally reached the front of the line, and Light looked up at the mass of construction. Oh. My. Sugarlumps. It was, like, 109723569043 stories high! (more like 20-50 or something, I don't know, I've never ridden one either!)Light gulped, and heard L ask boredly, "Does Light-kun happen to be afraid… of heights?"

"No!"

Light felt the chain tauten as L pulled him over to the roller-coaster. Looking back down, Light saw that the cars only sat two, so at least he wouldn't have to sit with Misa. A few moments later, and Light and L were strapped into the first car with Misa sitting in the one behind them, grumbling to herself in 3rd person.

The Roller-coaster started to move, slowly, ever so slowly, and Light glanced over to L, who was eating his 57th cotton candy with a look of unconcern. Light thought to himself as they climbed higher and higher, still slowly, '_If that basket case L can handle this, so can I!'_

The coaster finally reached the summit of the first, and largest, hill, and that was when Light felt the need to whimper quietly. L looked over at Light with that dull look on his face, and the next moment the coaster was shooting down the tracks at the speed of a sick four-year-old sneezing(which is fast).

Light screamed involuntarily, "!!"

L remained silent and emotionless, but put up his cotton-candy-bearing hands into the air, make the air, making the roller-coaster look like some sort of demented bunny to anyone on the ground.

The roller coaster did a corkscrew, and that was when it happened- Light peed his pants. A lot. At least he didn't vomi-WARrghbblllaaaahhhhh!! Vomit spewed down his front as they did another corkscrew, and all L did was raise his demented bunny-ear hands higher into the air and say quietly, and rather eerily, "Weeeee…" (can you picture it?)

The roller-coaster finally slowed to a stop, and Light moaned piteously, then vomited on some of L's cotton candy. The detective blinked, then looked over at Light as if noticing him for the first time. "You vomited." He stated.

"I know…" Light replied weakly

L sighed sadly at his ruined cotton candy, then noticed that Light was no longer holding any cotton candy.

"Light-kun!" he said angrily as Light struggled to unstrap himself, "Why!? Why did you let go of the cotton candy?!"

"I don't know, I don't know…" Light moaned as he staggered out of the roller-coaster car. Misa approached the pair of them, took one look at Light's pee-and-vomit appearance, and said, "Uh, um… Yeah, Misa will see you tomorrow!" and made to run off.

L, however, grabbed Misa's arm and asked her, "Would you happen to have any extra clothing on you?" He indicated the large handbag she was carrying.

"Uh," she replied intelligently(not), "I only have a an extra skirt that I was going to take back to the store because it was too big…"

"That will be fine," L replied, holding out his one now cotton-candy free hand (Light puked on those).

Misa shoved the lacy, frilly black skirt into L's hand, then ran off in the opposite direction. What a good girlfriend.

Light had not noticed the interaction, having been puking dry-heaving into a nearby garbage can and hiding his pee-soaked pants from the world at the same time (now that's multi-tasking!). L approached from behind, then suddenly grabbed Light's arm, making him spray puke out of his nose (It does happen).

"Come," L said, dragging Light over to the men's room, "You need to get changed."

"Oh, no," some man in the bathroom snickered as they walked in, "That man's pet had an accident."

L turned suddenly to face the man, making him flich, "Yes, yes he did. And how observant of you to notice." L replied clamly.

Light shot into the nearest empty stall, hiding his shame.

"Here you go," L intoned boredly, passing the skirt under the door to Light.

L later estimated that it took approximately 5.82 seconds for Light to react tot the article of clothing he had been given.

"WAAAAHHHHTTTT??!!"

"It is a skirt, Light-kun. Stop being so Misa." Light stated emotionlessly, using his new synonym for stupid.

"NO! I won't" Light yelled back like a toddler.

"Fine," L replied, "But would you rather have the public see you in a skirt or in pee-soaked pants. The pants are pretty obvious, by the way."

5 minutes later, L asked Light, "Are you done yet? I'm hungry…"

"I don't want to come out-I look ridiculous!" L's response to this was to bang the door open and drag Light out. L blinked as he looked at Light. Oh. It was pretty bad. Light stood in the middle of the men's restroom in a puke-soaked white polo, and a very short, lacy, frilly black ballerina-stlye skirt. Oh, the humanity!

"Uh, it's okay. Let's get more cotton candy." L said as he finally looked away from the weirdness that was Light.

"NO! L, don't you have any brains? I can't go wondering through the amusement park like this!" Light yelled, stamping his foot, revealing the hem of his blue boxers underneath the black skirt.

L looked at Light a moment, then replied with a small smile, "Oh, of course we can't, please forgive me." He then rummaged in pocket, and pulled out a revolting-looking handkerchief that had a red loyypop, a peppermint, and other less identifiable candies fused to its fibers.

Before Light could react, L grabbed Light's chin, spit on his cheek, and scrubbed the vomit from his face viciously, eliciting a yelp of pain from Light. L repocketed the handkerchief (ew)and looked at Light as if nothing had happened.

"What the heck!?" Light yelled in a high voice at L, "Why did you do that?!"

L looked at Light as if he were under some hypnotic drug and replied flatly, "There were no more paper towels." L then grabbed Light's hand and dragged him out of the bathroom and out into the crowd, getting even more stares.

Light's face heated up as he heard people, mostly men, laughing at him as he was forced to be toted around shame-facedly by L. L got back into the cotton candy line, with Light with behind him, of course. Light stood there and stared at the back of L's head, trying to ignore the stares,until something happened that he could not ignore: Some one behind him with a really big hand grabbed hi butt.

Light screamed like a girl and hid in front of L from his would-be attacker. He glanced nervously around L, and L looked too to see the cause of the spider-monkey screech, and saw a huge, biker-man with a blonde handle-bar moustache. ( :{ )

The man winked at Light, causing Light to hide behind L again, then started flexing his barrel-sized muscles. L did not say a word, simply turning back to the cotton candy stand.

"L," Light hissed from his crouched position in front of L, "Let's just go home! That man behind you grabbed my butt and he probably wants to rape me!"

L did not look down at Light as he said, "There is only a 47% chance of him raping you in the middle of the park, and a 100% chance that I want more cotton candy."

Light wanted to cry: he had puked about five times, once through his nose, he had peed his pants, he was forced to walk around in a skirt that belonged on a hooker, and now there was a man who basically had a 50-50 % chance of raping him in the middle of the amusement park while L ate hi cotton candy. He let out a small cry of self-pity and frustration, causing L to look down at him in mild shock.

"I have had the worst day of my life! I want to go home!" Light whined

"No." L replied, frowning slightly at Light's odd behavior.

Light sat fully on the ground in front of L and crossed his arms, saying, "I am not going to move until you call someone to take us home!"

"Light," L said, still frowning, "stop acting like a child and move so I can get my cotton candy."

"NO!" Light repeated, scooting forward and wrapping his arms around L's legs, preventing him from moving.

"Light, stop this insufferable behavior right now, we are not going anywhere." L told Light in a low voice.

"NO! I will pee on your feet right here and now if you don't take us home _now!_" Light whined obstinately.

"I will spank you in public if you pee on my feet, then everyone will either think you are a man with the mind of a toddler and I am your caretaker, or they will think that you are my man-slave-toy. Besides, you emptied your bladder on the roller-coaster." L growled.

"NO! I don't care! I will pee in our bed tonight and tell the team that you did it if we don't go home now!" Light squealed.

L let out a big sigh, then snapped, "Fine! We'll go home now, you big baby!"

"Thank God!" Light sighed, getting off the ground and following L out to the parking lot where Watari was waiting for them. The car ride home was uneventful except for the glares L kept shooting Light for making him miss out on more cotton candy.

When they arrived back at headquarters and walked into the work room, where the full team happened to still be since it was only 2:00 in the afternoon, L stopped in the middle of the room, and so did light because of the chain. Light had wanted to just rush off to his room, but it seemed that L had other things in mind.

"Mr. Yagami, " L called loudly, though Mr. Yagami was only a few feet away ans all eyes were on the handcuffed pair anyway, "Light-kun had a few accidents at the amusement park today. He vomited all over himself and then peed himself- no, wait, it was the other way around- and he told me that he still pees the bed. He obviously has issues that your family therapist needs to talk to him about." L stated loudly in his monotone.

" Oh, and I was wondering, would it be alright if the bed Light-kun and I sleep in has a rubber sheet placed on it? I don't know if he has any allergies to rubber…" L added, still loudly enough for all to hear as he dragged Light to the bathroom . Light walked in agony behind him, his face tomatoe-red.

L smiled to himself as he shoved Light into the shower and locked it, thinking, '_Revenge is sweet-like my cotton candy you threw up on!"_

Needless to say, Light found a rubber sheet placed on his and L's bed when they went to bed that night, and a note on the bedside table that read, "_Dear Light- I had the same problem at your age. I hope this helps you as much as it did me.-Matsuda"_

Light's eye twitched, and he launched his fist at L, only to drop to the ground screaming when L's vomit and candy coated handkerchief was thrown into his face.

Yes, revenge was sweet like cotton candy.

END!

So, how did you guys like it? It seemed a little rambly to me, but I am tired. I thought of this when I thought to myself, 'are there any fanfics w/ light peeing his pants?' Please R&R!


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